For several years I have participated in an online reading circle through my membership in Story Circle, and international group for women writers. In this reading circle, we choose 12 books for the year ahead, and members volunteer for a book for which they would like to lead discussions. In this post and next week, I will focus on some of the books, all of which are women's memoir. Last year, September's book led to meaningful thoughts and conversation. Written by Nessa Rapaport, House on the River: A Summer Journey, is a book I probably would not have picked to read from a library shelf. But I liked the author's style of writing and found her poetic in many of her descriptions, poignant in her awareness of herself as a woman and a mother. I recently passed the book on to a young woman who expressed interest in reading about ways we model value, faith, and traditions to our children. I sent the following email during our discussions of the book, changed only for confidentiality of members to whom I refer.
Thanks to all who have commented on the reading this month. D, I particularly like your use of lines from the book which you intend to use for writing prompts. That is often an enjoyable and productive way for me to continue my appreciation of a book I have finished. I read the book and have been too busy to comment further until now. I found it meaningful that I was finishing the book at Rosh Hoshanah, (Sept. 14-15) which gave extra meaning to her words for me. This past week on the 23rd Yom Kippur was celebrated. I was once told by a Jewish friend that is the holiest of their celebration days, the day of atonement.
Responding to the thoughtful questions:
1. Did you identify with the author in any way? Did she seem real? Did you like her?
As J said, "I identified with that desire to gather loved ones around and take a journey that was meaningful to all of them, celebrating their relationship knowing that it is ending sometime in the near future. "
I have loved having my sons and their wives and our granddaughters gather around our dining table after fun together in the kitchen making the food we share. 2 of my adult sons and their families live within 15 minutes of us and go to church with us, so we used to have Sunday dinners together here almost every Sunday. Our middle son has lived 4 hours away in the same state for 9 years and although they are here less frequently, make it for family occasions and holidays. They are relocating soon to Reno, Nevada, and our gatherings with everyone here will be fewer. In addition, as families grow and change, and their schedules change, in addition to hospitalizations and health challenges for both my husband and me, our Sunday dinners have "gone away." There was a time I would look around the table and say a prayer of thanks along with a realization that these changes would inevitably come.
I have loved having my sons and their wives and our granddaughters gather around our dining table after fun together in the kitchen making the food we share. 2 of my adult sons and their families live within 15 minutes of us and go to church with us, so we used to have Sunday dinners together here almost every Sunday. Our middle son has lived 4 hours away in the same state for 9 years and although they are here less frequently, make it for family occasions and holidays. They are relocating soon to Reno, Nevada, and our gatherings with everyone here will be fewer. In addition, as families grow and change, and their schedules change, in addition to hospitalizations and health challenges for both my husband and me, our Sunday dinners have "gone away." There was a time I would look around the table and say a prayer of thanks along with a realization that these changes would inevitably come.
2. Can you relate to the importance she places on her faith, or the not quite traditional and accepted ways she and her family practice it?
I liked the author's family ways of making the celebrations their own, and the ways in which the significance of their faith was being passed to generations. I believe that one of my greatest commitments as well as a joy is the "telling" of our faith story as Christians to my children and grandchildren.
3. So many of this year’s books referenced place in one way or another. Do you have a magical childhood place that’s important in your memory?
I think of a number of special places that bring back sweet memories. Tea cakes at my grandmother's table, the one that is now in my own dining room. Picking blackberries with my grandmother. Playing under our raised back porch with my little sister, using huge hydrangea leaves and blossoms from the bushes by the porch for tea parties and dressup. Riding with my Daddy in his pickup or on his tractor. Helping Mother in the kitchen to make a chocolate cake and licking the bowl. I see that these are all as much people centric as place centric. I still find the relationships and people more important than the "where" in my life. Maybe that is because between 17 and my early 50's I moved so often?
4. How important is your experience with extended family in your life? Lots of fun get-togethers? Rarely see them? Wish you had more family ties or less?
My family of origin was small, only my sister and me. But we lived only a few miles from both of sets of grandparents and a number of aunts and uncles. I believe extended family has always been important, and that hospitality for helping this to happen is a gift.
5. Please share any special take-aways from this book, and if you liked it or not.
I loved the book, and admired the range of vocabulary! Words like hegemony, architectonic, inchoate, palimpsest are not ones I regularly use!
My own list of lines to remember and write from are:
"I am trying to accept that henceforth all joy will be dappled...yet I am pristinely happy."
"fascinated by the way life can circle upon itself...reacquainting (among others) with the place that symbolizes the possibility that we imperfect creatures can find true repose."
among the duties of parenthood she relishes " the cultivation of memory."
"This journey - an experiment in ignoring the taunt of the workday's receding finish line."
her mother's "no vacation from nutrition"
On page 51 there is a descriptive narrative (more significant in the light of the fact that the Jewish calendar is lunar, so it begins at dusk) that reads like poetry. Much of her writing felt like that for me.
"The trees on the shoreline facing me are black, with only a tincture of green remaining. The sky is bleached of color, pale blue above my head but fading imperceptibly to white over woods. The lake is not transparent but a moire of black, in which the trees are reflected, long and dusky in the rippled water."
"I do not taste my disappointment or anticipate sorrow. Instead, I taste these words: peace, wonder, light, calm, peace."
"the trip is a meditation, not a narrative."
"not matter how much you do, you never think it is enough."
I am grateful for the nudge to read this book. I am grateful for the ways in which reading a book can be a meaningful experience for me. And I am grateful for my reading circle sisters, who have become friends although I have only met a few of them. Because of this circle, I acquired several shelves of women's memoir volumes. Due to our recent move and the necessity to reduce the size of our library by more than half, I recently donated a large box of these books to our public library system in Fort Bend County, hoping to share this experience with many more.
I am grateful for the nudge to read this book. I am grateful for the ways in which reading a book can be a meaningful experience for me. And I am grateful for my reading circle sisters, who have become friends although I have only met a few of them. Because of this circle, I acquired several shelves of women's memoir volumes. Due to our recent move and the necessity to reduce the size of our library by more than half, I recently donated a large box of these books to our public library system in Fort Bend County, hoping to share this experience with many more.
